Saturday, January 07, 2006

 
Today: The Beauty and the Mess.

Yesterday gets mixed reviews. Stephanie and I were at odds with each other for a good part of yesterday, sadly. We’re just kind of on different rhythms. I’m going to try to fix that today and tomorrow. My rock climbing class on Monday was cancelled, which means I’ll get to spend time with her that I hadn’t planned for. That’s good. Today and tomorrow I have to work (thus the blogging).

Big stuff: I went to the interview, which went well. I’ll be auditioning for the NYU MFA program this month. Wish me a good audition. Three years. Sheesh.

I saw Munich last night with Jonathan and Stephanie and it’s haunting me. I don’t know if I could ever see it again. Stephen Spielburg made some errors in his direction, and John Williams’ score was the typical over-raught hysteria, but other than that, the performances and the script shine through—beautiful, touching, honest, and truly heartbreaking, every one.

I hope that Brokeback Mountain next week provides the kind of jolt that many reports have said it has. I could really use a sob-fest

And now, an open letter to Joe B. of Bayonne, NJ:

You said that you were falling for me on January 1st, early in the morning. I felt so great that someone so honest and beautiful wanted to be on my arm. I slept great for the first time in weeks. That afternoon, you came into my restaurant and told me that you hoped you kept making me feel not-lonely. I was alive in ways that I hadn’t thought I could be. Then, apparently, only 3 days later you had what you record on your Connexion profile was one of the best days of your life, “baby,” and you hope that that’s the first page of something great. Congratulations. I’d be happy for you and whoever if it weren’t for the fact that yesterday, before I knew you’d met someone else, you told me that the reason you wanted to turn this into friends was that I hadn’t been consistent with my emotions and actions. FUCK YOU. On that same Connexion profile you say you try to leave every situation better than when you get to it? Maybe you’re just accustomed to lying about things, but that’s just not true in my case. You said you fell for me, asked me to do the same, and when I did, you lied and told me I had messed something up, when you simply had walked off with the next bigger fish that swam by. Thanks for reminding me I could feel, but good luck fixing that karma, pal. No, I don’t want to be your friend. You’re an asshole.

(I know you’ll never read this, but you should)

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