Monday, August 23, 2004
Today. A silent, long pause.
I was diagnosed on Friday evening with Laryngitis. That event was preceeded with my opening night performance of The Fantasticks. I know that it's rare for me to talk about my career on my blog. It's even more rare for me to talk about my insecurities about my career on my blog (to my knowledge, I've never even mentioned either-well, maybe in passing).
Either way, I've had to be silent for the majority of the time that I'm not on stage or warming up to get ready to be on stage, and I must admit that it's been both a difficult and enlightening task, given that anyone who knows me would quickly suggest that I would be voted 'least likely to shut up' if there were superlatives in my friend circle.
Some things I've noticed:
Waitresses appreciate and humor me a lot when I'm not talking (read: using hand signals or writing, as is my custom when on vocal rest). I've gone out for food at least 3 times during this issue and by and large, people are extremely nice to me. Maybe nicer even than when I CAN talk. Perhaps that's a clue I should take a little more to heart....hmmm. Perhaps not.
My friends are entirely too forgiving of my antics when I'm not talking: I'm extremely weird in general. Take, if you can, in your mind, the weirdest person you know, then add 'can't talk' to their persona. It's an outrageous combination, and I'm very, very lucky to have the people around me that I do, otherwise, this whole incident would cost friends in addition to a lot of personal pride regarding performance.
Gay people upset/bother me even MORE when they think I'm deaf. I went to a gay bar today with vocal rest intact. I didn't do my usual flirting with any cute boy in my viscinity thing, which may have been part of my problem, but people were just like...not having anything to do with me. Who knows what their deal was, though. Stupid fags. Must be the sense of disenfranchisement.
It must be extremely frustrating for deaf people to communicate in non-deaf society: I think of all of the deaf kids at RIT (Rochester Institute of Technology, a school which has, i believe, an entire dorm just for them) and how knowledgeable they are. These are engineers, mathematicians, scientists--really smart people, who, when out in 'normal' society, probably have an extremely hard time doing just about anything that normally requires verbal communication. I hope I'm not accidentally being offensive, because I certainly don't mean to be...my little vocal-rest week has turned into one of the most excruciating events of my career, so I'm only trying to lighten it any way I can.
I really need a lot of attention: when out for dinner, if people aren't talking...I have to like...gesture to them and make them laugh or i feel entirely useless as a person.
My worst personal fear has been realized. I guess i'll have to come up with another one, right?
Anyway, that's all for now, I'll be sure to write a LOT more when I get back from NJ.
Until then, mum's the word.
I was diagnosed on Friday evening with Laryngitis. That event was preceeded with my opening night performance of The Fantasticks. I know that it's rare for me to talk about my career on my blog. It's even more rare for me to talk about my insecurities about my career on my blog (to my knowledge, I've never even mentioned either-well, maybe in passing).
Either way, I've had to be silent for the majority of the time that I'm not on stage or warming up to get ready to be on stage, and I must admit that it's been both a difficult and enlightening task, given that anyone who knows me would quickly suggest that I would be voted 'least likely to shut up' if there were superlatives in my friend circle.
Some things I've noticed:
Waitresses appreciate and humor me a lot when I'm not talking (read: using hand signals or writing, as is my custom when on vocal rest). I've gone out for food at least 3 times during this issue and by and large, people are extremely nice to me. Maybe nicer even than when I CAN talk. Perhaps that's a clue I should take a little more to heart....hmmm. Perhaps not.
My friends are entirely too forgiving of my antics when I'm not talking: I'm extremely weird in general. Take, if you can, in your mind, the weirdest person you know, then add 'can't talk' to their persona. It's an outrageous combination, and I'm very, very lucky to have the people around me that I do, otherwise, this whole incident would cost friends in addition to a lot of personal pride regarding performance.
Gay people upset/bother me even MORE when they think I'm deaf. I went to a gay bar today with vocal rest intact. I didn't do my usual flirting with any cute boy in my viscinity thing, which may have been part of my problem, but people were just like...not having anything to do with me. Who knows what their deal was, though. Stupid fags. Must be the sense of disenfranchisement.
It must be extremely frustrating for deaf people to communicate in non-deaf society: I think of all of the deaf kids at RIT (Rochester Institute of Technology, a school which has, i believe, an entire dorm just for them) and how knowledgeable they are. These are engineers, mathematicians, scientists--really smart people, who, when out in 'normal' society, probably have an extremely hard time doing just about anything that normally requires verbal communication. I hope I'm not accidentally being offensive, because I certainly don't mean to be...my little vocal-rest week has turned into one of the most excruciating events of my career, so I'm only trying to lighten it any way I can.
I really need a lot of attention: when out for dinner, if people aren't talking...I have to like...gesture to them and make them laugh or i feel entirely useless as a person.
My worst personal fear has been realized. I guess i'll have to come up with another one, right?
Anyway, that's all for now, I'll be sure to write a LOT more when I get back from NJ.
Until then, mum's the word.
