Saturday, January 21, 2006
Today: The audition went well.
Post-mortem to follow, but for the audition, I had to write a personal statement. So, here it is
Last year for my birthday, my father, once an amateur nature photographer, sent me a rather large matted framed photo. When opening it, I thought it was going to be one of the great landscapes or close-up pictures he’s taken of the beautiful things he sees outside. I pulled off the wrapping and saw a picture of myself—or, someone who I’ve been. It was taken when I was 15, a candid from one of our vacations. I was wearing a leather biker jacket, silver circular framed glasses, spike-studded collar, black handkerchief tied karate-kid style on my forehead. Oh, god. I laughed and laughed, in spite of myself, and then read the card. “Keep it in perspective.”
It’s now been nearly 10 years since that picture was taken, but I think more about that time in my life now than I have in years. As people in this world, and specifically in this country at this time, we’re asked so often to examine our failures, what we’ve done wrong that’s brought us to where we are. As the past year has taught me, those things are perhaps the least important things to concern ourselves with. What I’m concerned about, and perhaps what brings me to apply to Tisch is all of what’s gone right in the past 10 years.
Keeping things in perspective isn’t always the easiest thing to do. This year it’s caused me to give up a lot of the things I once thought vital to who I am. I’ve had to reexamine the past and find out why painful situations occurred the way they did. Luckily, I’m finding more reasons to be proud of how far I’ve come than reasons to beat myself up about what I think I might have done wrong. I’m doing well today.
And, I’ll admit: it’s taken some time to get here. From punky-boy beginnings to preppy urbanite, I’ve had to make countless decisions and each of them has helped in one way or another to fashion the person I am and the life I lead. And though I’m not entirely proud of each one, who I am today reflects the vast array of things I’ve been able to do in this short decade. I’m proud to say that at this moment, I don’t regret where I’ve come from. I’ve been a mascot on parade, a man-eating plant, a 65 year-old surgeon, and on many occasions, a scared 20-something, to name a few. My career has taken me across the country, and recently around the world, but there’s always more to learn—about myself and about the planet I’m on. This world is a great school, and I believe that as much as I work towards goals, the world in its way helps me, giving me teachers and inviting me to new lessons.
Unfortunately, not every school is the same, and my last experience with the ‘academic’ world left a sad, cynical taste in my mouth—one that I’m finally ready to spit out and take another taste. I’m at a place in my life where if I continued without an MFA, without a BFA, I’d still work. I’m not worried about that. What I worry is that I’ll regret something if I don’t at least try to finish something I’ve already started: a comprehensive education in acting that gives me the tools and the contacts necessary to build a solid career—backed up by a piece of paper that says so. Now is the time for that.
So, hanging in my bedroom is an out-of-date picture of me that makes many of my friends giggle when they see it. I say it’s from my dad and they understand that it holds special significance to me. What they don’t know is how much that picture profoundly changed the way I look at myself now, not just who I was a decade ago. I look to the future not fearing the past, just acknowledging its impact on the present. Regardless of my acceptance into the Graduate program at Tisch, this next three years is going to be amazing; all I have to do is keep things in perspective.
Post-mortem to follow, but for the audition, I had to write a personal statement. So, here it is
Last year for my birthday, my father, once an amateur nature photographer, sent me a rather large matted framed photo. When opening it, I thought it was going to be one of the great landscapes or close-up pictures he’s taken of the beautiful things he sees outside. I pulled off the wrapping and saw a picture of myself—or, someone who I’ve been. It was taken when I was 15, a candid from one of our vacations. I was wearing a leather biker jacket, silver circular framed glasses, spike-studded collar, black handkerchief tied karate-kid style on my forehead. Oh, god. I laughed and laughed, in spite of myself, and then read the card. “Keep it in perspective.”
It’s now been nearly 10 years since that picture was taken, but I think more about that time in my life now than I have in years. As people in this world, and specifically in this country at this time, we’re asked so often to examine our failures, what we’ve done wrong that’s brought us to where we are. As the past year has taught me, those things are perhaps the least important things to concern ourselves with. What I’m concerned about, and perhaps what brings me to apply to Tisch is all of what’s gone right in the past 10 years.
Keeping things in perspective isn’t always the easiest thing to do. This year it’s caused me to give up a lot of the things I once thought vital to who I am. I’ve had to reexamine the past and find out why painful situations occurred the way they did. Luckily, I’m finding more reasons to be proud of how far I’ve come than reasons to beat myself up about what I think I might have done wrong. I’m doing well today.
And, I’ll admit: it’s taken some time to get here. From punky-boy beginnings to preppy urbanite, I’ve had to make countless decisions and each of them has helped in one way or another to fashion the person I am and the life I lead. And though I’m not entirely proud of each one, who I am today reflects the vast array of things I’ve been able to do in this short decade. I’m proud to say that at this moment, I don’t regret where I’ve come from. I’ve been a mascot on parade, a man-eating plant, a 65 year-old surgeon, and on many occasions, a scared 20-something, to name a few. My career has taken me across the country, and recently around the world, but there’s always more to learn—about myself and about the planet I’m on. This world is a great school, and I believe that as much as I work towards goals, the world in its way helps me, giving me teachers and inviting me to new lessons.
Unfortunately, not every school is the same, and my last experience with the ‘academic’ world left a sad, cynical taste in my mouth—one that I’m finally ready to spit out and take another taste. I’m at a place in my life where if I continued without an MFA, without a BFA, I’d still work. I’m not worried about that. What I worry is that I’ll regret something if I don’t at least try to finish something I’ve already started: a comprehensive education in acting that gives me the tools and the contacts necessary to build a solid career—backed up by a piece of paper that says so. Now is the time for that.
So, hanging in my bedroom is an out-of-date picture of me that makes many of my friends giggle when they see it. I say it’s from my dad and they understand that it holds special significance to me. What they don’t know is how much that picture profoundly changed the way I look at myself now, not just who I was a decade ago. I look to the future not fearing the past, just acknowledging its impact on the present. Regardless of my acceptance into the Graduate program at Tisch, this next three years is going to be amazing; all I have to do is keep things in perspective.
