T is for Tiger

Today: The Grind.

Worked yesterday. Made…less than I’ve been making, but at least it wasn’t too hard. The work was aided by a runner and another server. Wonders never cease. After that Stephanie and I went to a coffee shop and chilled for a while, unfortunately, we didn’t have much to talk about and I was kind of stupid and sat on the internet for an hour without really communicating with her. I needed to relax, though. I had just gotten out of work. We went to Barnes and Nobles for me to look at plays, which I found one that I’m almost certain will be the one I use—provided I can play the part convincingly.

Not too long after, we went to DoJo with Jonathan and had some pretty awful food. I walked into Pennie and Erik on the street, which was pretty neat—I have to hang out with them, and soon.

Then we went to see The Lion the Witch and the Wardrobe. It was pretty cool. I didn’t mind the Christ-allegory at all, really—and as the three of us were all quick to agree, it was nice not to have to think for a couple hours. Has anyone else noticed that the kid playing Peter is (besides being the most beautiful 16 year old ever) really eerily similar to a young Prince William? Who thinks that was intentional? I’m just not sure.

I was wired last night and couldn’t get myself to fall asleep. I’m having good conversations with people about what I’m doing inside my head right now—I’m hoping that it translates to my real-life actions, too, though. I don’t want to be one of those people who puffs himself up about changes he’s making and doesn’t actually do anything to affect real change within himself. My room is still a mess. My kitchen is only almost clean, and I still can’t regularly drag myself to dance classes. But—I read a script a day (usually it’s the same script at the moment, but that’s changing all ready) and I talk about my feelings, usually to more than one person—and at the moment, I have a dependent in my house, who is doing fine and not wanting for anything, so I think I’m doing okay.

I know that those of you who’ve read my blog have grown somewhat accustomed to having me rant about things, and yesterday’s blog may have been a reminder of what my bile is capable of, but I’m sorry to say that right now, in general, I don’t have the same time to devote to the things that outrage me as much as the things that fill me with awe and wonder. I’m still angry, I’m still a tiger, but for now, I can’t dwell on that. I have to push on to the deeper, happy child I truly am.