Tuesday, January 31, 2006

 
Today: Philosophy

I’ve found my new personal theme-song. Ben Fold’s Five “Philosophy.” I’d just post the lyrics, but there’s so much about it that’s kind of uncannily fitting to my situation right now. It starts with a memory, and just builds into this…life—and as I was telling Evan last night, it’s like he’s taking my thoughts and converting them into a really good song that if I could write, I’d have written this week.

http://www.sing365.com/music/lyric.nsf/Philosophy-lyrics-Ben-Folds/ABC1B5F36725C3F148256DE9002E39D5

It’s weird. I feel, well, full. I have a full, full life. I don’t feel lonely at all (right this second). And that’s kind of weird. I find myself wanting to slip into the old patterns, but only out of lack of anything else to think of doing. But I don’t. I just kind of, well, do work. I guess that’s my philosophy: Right this second, I’m doing okay. It’s kind of like giving up an addiction. I was addicted to being kind of bad to myself, and now I’m trying to work that out.

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