T is for Tiger

Today: Things to be Thankful for.

This is a self-explanatory list.

1. Having a cozy apartment to share with my friends.
2. The fact that the aforementioned cozy apartment is going to have a new outside hallway soon. Not so ghetto. YAY
3. Jimmy and Evan, two people without whom I’d have simply stopped existing long about Tuesday afternoon.
4. Adam, my favorite room mate, ever.
5. The Opera, my restaurant and the mascot organization: all of which contributed to my having enough money for to eat with and pay rent.
6. Me. (six is my favorite number, so I saved it for myself)
7. New York City. I love it here, and I’m trying to remind myself that this city in and of itself is one of the reasons I moved here.
8. Crossword puzzles: they keep my brain working and without them I’d be forced to read or do other things to keep my mind occupied on the subway-bleck!
9. The fact that though I’m not happy with the political climate of our country, I feel no less loved by the people who I care about or those people who I have to deal with on a day-to-day basis (Refer also to number 7)
10. Life. I was a little depressed a little while ago (and I still am, to some degree), but making this list makes me feel a little better. I may be a little turned around right now, but I’m happy to be who I am and where I am.

In other news, I’m trying to keep myself sane, though I haven’t been on an audition in like…3 weeks…and I haven’t done anything acting wise except for a reading in like…a month…it makes me kind of crazy.

Hope all is well elsewhere in the world. Shout out to Ukraine--i hope the people get what they want...we didn't here in 2000, though interestingly enough the Bush administration has released a statement suggesting that the Ukrainian government give the people what they voted for. Does that mean they're going to retroactively have Al Gore be president from 2000 to 2004?

Just a thought.

Today: Staying Power (ful)

Two topics to discuss today:
1. Why liberals need to stay in the US.
2. Why the Gay Rights movement needs to become the Gay Power movement.

First of all, it’s hard to want to stay here. I know. I’ve read all kinds things post-election that all essentially say ‘let’s leave.’ They talk about ‘giving up the fight;’ they talk about ‘escaping the tyranny;’ some about simply ‘needing a change.’ These are in newspapers, in magazines, they’re on the blogs of my friends, some read my blog, some are complete strangers posting things on websites I happen on when looking for the opinion of people I’m not in direct contact with-in short, everywhere I go, I see things that suggest ‘it’s time to quit.’

I’m not going to say I haven’t had my own fantasies about moving. I imagine whisking myself off to some location where I’d have to learn a new language to speak to the natives. These natives would greet me warmly and nod their heads knowingly when I explained--perhaps in Portuguese, maybe German-- that I was an ex-pat from the extremist military-religious country that the US has become. They’d remark that my accent would have suggested that I come from down the street, though my clothing is most typically American (in my fantasies, I always have a perfectly flawless native accent when speaking foreign languages, but my style never changes).

These fantasies include a strange detached feeling from all I’ve come to know in my life: I no longer act, I don’t call people and tell them to buy Opera subscriptions, and I don’t talk to Evan two times a day. I don’t even update my blog in my ex-pat dreams; I write long handwritten letters to my friends and family in the US telling them how wonderful the wine is here and that I hope my next chapter will be finished by the holiday.

I told you it was a fantasy.

So, now for the reality: WE CAN NOT LEAVE. For starters, it’s a cost thing. Most of the people suggesting we leave don’t even have the ability to do so themselves, yet they suggest others do so. At least for my own part, it’s impossible to leave now- I’m broke. Beyond that, though, if I had the money, I just don’t think I would. It’s not just about the fact that I love New York, or my life here, or Acting. I do love those things, but the point is that I’m important to this country right now.

I’m an American. Me: gay, liberal, working poor me. I’m an American and I have a voice. This country needs me—needs all of us liberals to stay here. If we just left, where would the country go? We know the kind of people in power now; we know what they’re capable of. Imagine what would happen if these people went un-checked. We would be leaving the largest military force in the world, the largest stockpiles of chemical, biological and nuclear weaponry in the hands of religious extremists.

This isn’t about ‘us’ losing the election to ‘them,’ either. The tribalism of American society is getting out of control. Each side uses this ‘us or them’ philosophy that’s dividing this country so far that I don’t know where we’re going to go or how, if ever we can heal ourselves. Simply, Americans need to learn that the issues (whatever issues they are) aren’t ever black and white, good and evil or ‘right and wrong’.

In short: this rampant dualism must be stopped, on ALL levels.

Nothing is as cut and dry as anyone wishes. We have to start beginning to understand that. This society is really beginning to show symptoms of a horrible mental collapse. It’s as though American society is beginning to really believe it’s the only society in the world-that we’re the only ones that matter.

Our foreign policy certainly would suggest that kind of mental lapse. We don’t think twice about killing 95,000 people to avenge the deaths of 2,300. Somehow our losses are worth more. When we raided Fallujah (a city the size of Cincinnati), the Iraqi organizations trying to help civilians reported that we had completely cut off their ability to feed the innocents in Fallujah or to get medicine to injured civilians caught in the crossfire between our military and the insurgents hiding there. The military accepts such eventualities, calling them collateral damage that can’t be avoided. These are deaths in the name of protecting the very people that we are killing. Many of the soldiers don’t realize what’s going on until they return and get to see what’s going on as far as the world is concerned, not just the US military.

And now Condaleeza Rice is going to be the Secretary of State. (gag/shudder)

But despite the overwhelming dissatisfaction that we all feel with the government right now, the idea of moving to somewhere else becomes more and more the least patriotic thing to do. If you love what this country is supposed to stand for, running away should be the furthest thing from your mind, right? I mean, we’re supposed to root for the underdog as Americans, right? The colonies were the ones that were small and the British were the ones who were the big, tough profit mongers trying to squash the little guy—well, now it’s us. We have to root for ourselves and stick this mess out or there will be nothing left of the United States but a few pieces of ‘quaint and antiquated*’ paper which no longer mean anything to the people who make and enforce the laws here. (*Thank you Alberto Gonzales for referring to the articles of the Geneva Convention as such and giving us that sterling example of the horrors to come)

Along the same vein, I’m now to point two of this little rant: Gay Pride and Power.

For a long time, I’ve been trying to figure out why the notion of ‘gay pride’ bothers me. Today I figured it out.

If we’re so proud, why the FUCK is it that we’re so quick to let the whole struggle for equality slow down whenever our rights are questioned? Why is it that every time we’re threatened, we back down, just hoping to wait out the storm—that doesn’t sound very proud. Why is it that the white party draws more crowds than marches for equality? Why, when we ARE so proud of our creativity, why are we so utterly unwilling to devote our huge resources and creativity to winning our rights? Why, why, WHY?!

I think it’s got a lot to do with the misuse of the word pride. The misuse is a stumbling block that we as a minority have got to get past or we’ll never evolve to where we want to be. I’ve got a vision of what it could be: Gay Strength or Gay Power replacing Gay Pride.

I mean, really, why settle for pride when pride accomplishes nothing for itself? It was a terrible disservice to us, whoever coined that phrase. I understand we have a lot of internal homophobia to get over, but when we’ve done that, what’s next—skip on over to the local sex club, gym or bar (or some hideous combination of the three), get wasted, fuck some random person and say ‘okay, I’m a real homo now, I can stop fighting!’?

The whole ‘pride’ agenda is completely lacking any direction beyond stroking our egos and help us feel warm and fuzzy about being members of a minority that has been kicked and browbeaten by every society since the Greeks. There is more to us than that. We’ve got needs more than just being okay with liking someone of the same sex. Isn’t it time we start looking at ourselves differently than ‘am I okay with being gay today?’

I see too many young gay people respond to the question 'are you gay?' with some kind of hesitancy and apology. I’m guilty of it myself. I know where it comes from, so do you: we’re still pushed into thinking we’re wrong for being who we are--and that sucks, but it could be worse—we’re not an ethnic minority (collectively). However, instead of this cow-towing to the pitiful people who wish our destruction at the cost of their own well-being, we need to say something like ‘you’re god damn right I’m gay, and you’re wrong if you have a problem with it.’

I mean, I guess that’s the essence of the pride movement: to empower us to the point that we’re confident--but it’s not there. Not by a long shot. The ‘pride movement is collectively babying all the people who want to pretend that what’s important is that you get to fuck who you want whenever you want. The pride movement thinks as long as you’re getting laid that it’s okay that many work environments are completely homophobic—that being out could cost you your job. The Pride movement as it stands is ecstatic that leather parties and drag shows are allowed to happen in the streets in broad daylight, but would never caution or criticize people’s drug habits or the rampant promiscuity that is literally killing us—why, that would be denying what we are!

Fuck that.

I’m not my penis. I’m not who I fuck. Neither are you. And I think that it is completely inappropriate that in a so-called ‘free’ country that who I fuck should dictate weather I’m capable of performing a job. Lucky for me, I’m an actor—wait, no, NOT lucky for me. Because, as you may or may not know, gay people may be all over the media (Will & Grace, Philadelphia, Queer as Folk--the list goes on) but to out yourself before you’re famous is most clearly career suicide. It’s not done.

I think that we, like many Americans, have to stop letting ourselves be completely screwed over by people who say they’re our friends and then turn around and stab us in the back. I liked Clinton, but it’s fucked up that he upheld the don’t ask don’t tell policy. Of all the lame-ass ideas that the heterosexist military could come up with, that’s by far the most offensive. That a government agency can be so BLATANTLY discriminatory against us should have us rioting in the streets, not ho-humming about how we don’t look good in fatigues anyway. You can bet your ass that if ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ was applied to Jews or blacks, that there would be a full-scale culture war in our country. Yet, we just sit back and say ‘it’s okay, my marine boyfriend and I are quiet people anyway—no one needs to know.’

I also reject this whole ‘don’t throw the baby out with the bath water’ notion—as far as I’m concerned, we ARE the baby. Once again, and I hate to use ethnic and religious minorities as examples, but if a candidate for office was against allowing Jews to practice their religious services, do you think a single Jew would vote for him? Regardless of the candidate’s other platforms, I think I can say with certainty that the Jewish people would be UP IN ARMS against a ‘hateful bigot’ that would even suggest that people not be allowed to conduct themselves according to their beliefs.

Somehow, this idea of solidarity has not transferred to us gays. I know of quite a few homosexuals who happily voted for a man who really thinks we are sick people and that we shouldn’t have the right to legally enter into a contract that everyone else in the country can. This is a man who wants discrimination against us to become part of the document that our country is built on. I even know that the immediate family of this candidate’s second in command includes at least one homosexual.

What a weak, weak person that gay person must be to not stand up against what they must know in her heart is completely backwards. This weakness is what’s killing us. This complacency. I think we all could use some strength right now—and given the political climate, I know it’s hard to be strong, but there are some things that I know definitely won’t help us achieve what we want.

Strength is not what you get from a membership at New York Sports Club, or Crunch Fitness or even David Barton Gym. Strength is not thinking that because you live in a ‘blue-state’ with domestic partner benefits that you don’t have anything to gain anymore. Strength is not actively forgetting that in some places of the country, just holding your boyfriend’s hand could get you killed.

Strength is what you get when you realize that you have the power to act and to speak about what you believe. Strength is the power to not let the homophobic comment of a co-worker slip by you—no one would take racist comments, why should you take gay ones? Until we start sticking up for our selves and each other in our day-to-day life, how can we say we really want change—or deserve it, for that matter? Of course there’s something to be said for picking our battles—I can see that. But right now people are attacking our very relationships—the ones we’ve sought to bring into the open for decades—and trying to make us feel like we shouldn’t be recognized by a country WE have helped build and shape.

I’m an advocate of gay strength. I want this movement to become the gay power movement—not like the black panthers or anything militant like that. What we need is a way to empower ourselves without forgetting that there’s a point to why we’re doing this. The greater good is not our sexual liberation—we’ve gotten that. What we need now is to get our rights and let the rest of the country know that we mean business. Boycott companies that don’t give domestic partner benefits. Refuse to vote for people who will cut our rights, no matter WHAT their energy platform or health care platform is.

We are a part of this population that has done so much in the last decades to gain respect and tolerance. Now is not the time to sit back and enjoy a well-deserved break, though. We have a fight to finish and we must be strong to do it. We must also stay to fight it out so that future American homos can look at our generation as an example of strength against adversity—in short, we need to be strong role models; our legacy is in our hands.

Gay power, my brothers and sisters. Gay power.

Today: The New Kid.

In looking at this election, I’m reminded of Grade School and the might-is-right mentality of locker room fights, popularity contest student-government elections, pretty-girl cliques, and alienation to anyone who wasn’t just like everyone else. I came out in High School, though it wouldn’t have mattered—as far as most of the student body was concerned, I was gay the second I stepped into the school as a 3rd grader from a poorer town. Not that any third grader really knows what gay means, but it’s what they use for bad and wrong. And I was that gay to them.

I had imagined a warm welcome accompanied by a newer, cooler me that I would invent upon arriving at Fredonia Elementary. As has often been said, however, children can be so cruel, and my classmates were not by and large warm or open, only mistrusting, judgmental. I was the ‘new kid,’ and without ever having a chance to invent one, the new me was constructed by the other kids--one where was even less cool than I could have imagined. I was immediately an outcast.

But why should they have been open to me? Girls thought I was strange and lacked the mystique they felt the other boys had. Unlike most of the boys, I didn’t care about the WWF or Guns & Roses or even comic books. And though my parents always urged and sometimes even forced me to participate, I sucked at sports, which are the preoccupation of most boys in third grade. I liked art class and chorus. (What a fag, right?) I wanted to be in the gifted and talented program, but wasn’t let in (for reasons that still seem suspicious to me) so I was even an outcast from the other nerds. I wasn’t great at anything that was important.

In short, I had nothing special or exciting to offer anyone. I was just the new kid, and another Matt, besides. There were three Matts in my third grade class, and even another Matt M who was much cooler than me all ready. To make matters worse, due to the hyperactive energy I’ve always possessed, I had a special diet free of sugar and corn products, so most kids thought I was fragile and chemically imbalanced. Needless to say, the kids treated me horribly, which I think still effects how I treat my peers.

I realized at one point (probably 5th grade) that all the intelligence and knowledge in the world could not save me from intimidation and isolation from people who didn’t know shit about who I am or what I’m trying to say. I’m reminded of a specific incident when a bully cornered me in the back of the school bus and I just started crying because I was afraid of him. He asked me why I was crying and I said ‘you’re really intimidating.” He didn’t know what the word intimidating meant and thought I was insulting him. I had to go on and say ‘you scare me because you’re bigger than me and I’m afraid of what you’re going to do to me, even though I’ve done nothing to you.’ Finally he left me alone, but having to explain why I was upset made the reason for it all that more poignant. Little me blubbering in a corner and a bully having no earthly clue what I meant—god, it’s depressing even now.

I just wish I could have addressed my classmates in a way they could have understood. I wish I had had some way of making them see how it feels, just to put in their minds what was really going on.

Okay, so I am a little socially awkward; I’ve been isolated for a long time. I haven’t been on the scene all that long, and I haven’t figured out all the ropes of the school—but I will. For now, you don’t think you have to listen to me because I have different ideas than you, but someday you’ll know that what we want isn’t all that different. For now, I’m just another Matt who wants so desperately to be cool like everyone else. I know you’re used to and happy with your other Matts, which is fine, but I know I’ll be around long enough to change your mind about me. You all might not listen to me now, but I’m not going away, and I will be heard.

I guess it’s easy to forget that we were all new kids once.

Today: Not the only person here.

A long while back, way before we even knew how close this election was going to be, I was speaking with my stepfather about who he was planning to vote for. I said, among other things, that I didn’t want to be a second-class citizen forever and so I would not be voting for George Bush.

“Well, you’re not the only person in the country, Matthew”

Well neither are you. Was my initial thought, though I came back with something that I don’t even remember, probably about the fact that I pay full taxes and deserve the same rights as everyone else—something constitutional, probably. For him, the discussion was over: my rights aren’t the only thing that’s important in this election. Fine. We all know how the country feels about that: 11 more states have bans on same sex marriage. You win, Ed.

I was reminded of that conversation recently when I was watching CNN and a Conservative Black Minister came on one of the news analysis shows to speak about conservative religious Americans. I wouldn’t make mention of his color except that he did, in a way that I found both profoundly offensive and profoundly telling. He said at one point that the biggest issue for him and his constituents was making sure there was a constitutional ban on same-sex marriages. Okay, I thought, where’s this going? And then he said (to paraphrase, though I’m not making up the meaning):

I’m black, okay, so I know about discrimination, and Christians are the only people being discriminated against right now in this country.

He very quickly shifted focus to some other topic, fully aware of how off-color (purposeful offensive pun) and revealing that remark was. Shortly after, the segment was over and the mediator of the show said ‘And, reverend, it’s always interesting to have you here.’

Ow, I thought. Are we not people? Because he said ‘the only people.’ It’s too bad, because among these non-persons are a lot of Americans: Muslims, Women, Asians, Hispanics, Homosexuals, Jews, and people with disabilities to name a few—oops, I should call them simply ‘the disabled’ not people with disabilities, because as we’ve all ready established, if you’re not Christian, you’re not person enough for discriminations against you to count.

Does this guy forget that blacks are still discriminated against all over this country?

I mean, really. The guy was a total nut-bag and generally not worth commenting on—other than how his remark shows some of the sentiment I take issue with in conservative, Christian platforms.

These people seem to think that they should have the right to exert their religious beliefs over other people, regardless of what those other people feel about it. They want to have control over these people because they somehow ‘know better’ then those that their policies, if legislated would ultimately affect. They think that because they’re not given this opportunity, they’re somehow being discriminated against and that other people who disagree with them somehow have a conspiratorial agenda that includes, among other things, the destruction of families, the aborting of all fetuses, and the insertion of homosexual relationships as a unilaterally sanctioned religious unit.

Don’t these people see how dangerous it is to legislate morality and church doctrine? Don’t they see how ridiculous it is to assume you know what’s best for the country and what’s best is bigotry? No, they don’t, and that’s because they believe that God is on their side.

News Flash: every ‘crazy Islamic fundamentalist’ uses the exact same argument. The religious extremists that we’re always trying to subdue in the middle east are using the same rhetoric as the ‘deeply concerned Christians’ who blow up abortion clinics and murder homosexuals.

I know that this is a really angry blog, but I’m sick of putting a sock in it every time someone says something that’s essentially read as: fuck you faggot.

So, I’m not the only person in this country.

That’s fine.

But I'm still a person, God damnit.

Today: Two Americas--A question of Morals and Ethics
(Note: this blog entry was written on wednesday morning, the 3rd of Nov.)


While on a date recently, I was posed this question:

“What are your morals?”

He asked earnestly, expecting that I’d answer with my beliefs on right and wrong—that I’d create a sense for him of who I was as a person and where I stood in the grand scheme of improper and proper, bad and good, evil and holy.

Unfortunately (for the date) I answered with a long pause, then “well, I’m an amoral person.”

This clearly disturbed him.

To really explore the outcome of last night’s (and this morning’s) election, I think it’s important that we look at this question as a fundamental division of our country. How we feel about the question of ‘right’ vs. ‘wrong’ has begun to define us—for ourselves, for others in the country, for other countries in the world. The development of two distinct value systems is becoming, it would appear, a bigger rift to overcome (for candidates and commoners alike) culminating in what I can only quote the political battle-cry of John Edwards: There are two Americas.

These two Americas that I’m referring to are not ‘the straight and the queer’ Americas, they’re not ‘the black and the white’ they’re not even ‘the rich and the poor.’ They are, in my opinion, the Believers and the Thinkers. The expression of these two Americas is evident in how we relate to each other, the government and the world.

The values of Believers are based in a moral code and usually religious law. Thinkers base their values on ethics and worldly knowledge. Now, I’m not trying to say that these are the only two ways that people are making decisions. There are people that I’m close to that are both ethical and moral. The grey areas, though, are closing in and people seem to be asked by their fellows to make themselves either one or the other, which is problematic for everyone.

The presidential election was lost for Kerry because this country is increasingly believers, and increasingly non-thinkers. People have no problem doing things that are clearly unethical so long as they fit within a prescribed moral code. The lower-middle class knows that Bush’s (or any republican’s, for that matter) domestic economic policies mean bad news for its ranks, but they believe that Bush will protect their morals from the infringement of Homosexuals, Arabs, immigrants and intellectuals on their ideology.

Now I’m biased because I would call myself a thinker. I consider myself pretty fair and strictly constitutional, though people who aren’t in line with my political beliefs refer to me as a ‘liberal’ pejoratively and suggest that I want all sorts of outrageous things like the destruction of churches and the legalization of bestiality.

Though Thinkers in this country are pretty ‘live and let live,’ the Believer culture is not simply at odds, but at war with anyone asking them to question their indoctrination. Ask a Thinker if putting the 10 commandments up in schools is morally wrong, and he’ll probably tell you that there is a clear division of church and state in our country and that the Constitution would suggest that it’s not so much morally wrong as it is simply unconstitutional.

Ask a Believer if it’s inherently racist for legislation to allow Muslim groups to be searched and monitored by the government, but not Christian groups, and you’re not opinionated, you’re anti-church, anti-God, anti-American. There is no grey area for this culture. There is no ‘maybe,’ only the good and holy, the bad and evil. They use phrases like ‘baby killers’ and ‘gay agenda’ to scare their ranks into agreeing with their beliefs.

So, what are my morals? Let me pretend the ‘m’ word wasn’t mentioned and talk about my values: I think that people should have healthcare and that drug companies should be legally obligated to manufacture and release life saving vaccines and medicine. I think that the president should be allowed the line-item veto. I think that pork-barreling should be illegal. I don’t think that single people should pay more taxes because they’re single. I think that my lover (if I have one) should be allowed to keep my possessions and collect on my life insurance policy if I die. I think that terrorism is economically and policy-based, not religion based. I think that a woman should be able to choose weather she keeps a child conceived from a rape. I trust in the Constitution of the United States. I think that logic and world philosophy should be required classes for every person in America. I think that scientists should make the decision on what’s ethically right to do regarding embryonic stem-cells, not churches. I don’t think that the Ten Commandments have any right to our schools or courts. I don’t think the Pledge to the Flag should have ever been revised to include ‘under God.’ I think that the military-industrial complex will destroy the world, literally. My values are ethics, not religious code. In the eyes of moral America, these things make me evil. They make me anti-church, anti-God--make me Anti-American.

”…Not immoral, mind you, amoral. I’m ethical, like I think it’s wrong to kill, but I feel that my values should exist outside any prescribed dogmatic code of morals, so, essentially, I’m amoral.” I went on as my date winced and struggled to come up with an excuse to end the evening early.

“That’s almost worse than if you’d said you were immoral”

I guess will never understand. Though I grew up in a Catholic house and was even confirmed, I have always felt that a person figures out what’s right for himself somewhat regardless of what environment he grows up in. Ethics, in my opinion are where it’s at as far as values are concerned. To be ethical is to have given thought to why you think something, to have questioned why you feel the way you feel. Conversely, to simply believe what people tell you all the time and believe what you have always believed is to be spiritually lazy—psychologically stagnant.

Now, I’m not saying we shouldn’t have faith. Faith is important for people to help give a sense of stability to a world that is, if anything, hard to predict. Blind faith, though, to be un-PC, is handicapped (insert a clever joke about Values Systems with disabilities). I’m serious when I say that I’m suspicious of any value system that touts a disability as one of its intrinsically honorable qualities—that’s just how I am. I believe that knowledge is the key to making the best decisions about things, not holding tightly to what gut impulse you have to the point where you’ve dug yourself into a hole (Do you hear that, W.?)

Fortunately for my ego, most modern schools of Philosophy, Sociology, History, Anthropology, Mathematics, Physics, Biology, Psychology and a host of others all agree with me that ethics are the value system that most accurately fits the human condition—that blind faith morality essentially denies what the human is: a reasoning being. Worse, though is that knowledge when faced with election results that suggest that more than half of the voting population clearly abandoned thought, knowledge, logic and reason for an almost entirely Belief-based take on the way our government should be run.

It’s not like what I’m saying is new, though. There has been this division between thinkers and believers forever. The church and the government have been walking a fine line for a long, long time. The problem is that now people are being forced to choose what side they’re on more directly. “If you believe abortions or gay marriages are wrong, vote for a republican.” I know a lot of republicans who don’t give a shit weather their sisters have abortions or their gay cousins get to marry—they’re thinkers and they just happen to think that small government is what works. I don’t have any problem with those people, though I disagree with them.

I don’t even have all that much of a problem with people who think I’m wrong about whatever political opinion I have simply because of what I am: gay. For the very reason that I prefer the company of men to women, I’m wrong about everything from military spending to my views on September 11th (which I, unlike most of them, ACTUALLY LIVED THROUGH). My sexuality, something that they know nothing, absolutely nothing about, they think they have an authority on, and think that it’s right to legislate that supposed authority. I don’t mind them because there are people who believe these things and will always believe them, but somehow they think, this year, that that’s really an important issue—that Gays will somehow be the end of the United States. And church leaders in the Midwest and South are urging their constituents to help make sure that we don’t get the rights that most of us believe we’re paying for.

For anyone who is poor and strongly tied to a church, though, that’s becoming a big problem. People have the belief that their church leaders have authority on economic matters, not just moral ones. They believe that their church leaders are looking out not only for their souls but their lives and livelihoods. Sadly, when looking at the demographics in the middle of this country, it’s not appearing that that’s the case. Increasingly, poor and lower middle class America is embracing people who have similar moral values but economic platforms completely divergent from their needs. Sadder still, is the figures that suggest Latinos voted on the ‘morality’ issues this year at the polls this year rather than immigration issues or economic issues that keep a large portion of that population at its knees.

To really sum things up, I guess what I’m trying to say is that the situation, as it stands, a large percent of this country is cutting off its nose to spite its face. The neo-conservative agenda (and yes, there is one) may ensure only the further disempowerment and disenfranchisement of those of us who aren’t Christian or white or straight. I don’t know where to go from here. The next four years are crucial though; I can feel that much. And I’m scared.

I’m writing this on the train into New York, and as I typed that last sentence, I passed a flag on a building that was hung too closed to cyclone fence. The wind and weather had clearly taken its toll on the poor fabric, which was faded and shredded. How fitting. I wonder if anyone realizes that by installing a government that promotes fear and xenophobia rather than tolerance that we’re only ensuring the utter destruction of whatever there is to fight for in this democracy?